Rejection or Realignment?
We all love a good inspirational quote, right? One that has stuck with me since reading it some years ago has been: ‘Go Where You’re Celebrated, Not Where You’re Tolerated’. You could say it was because I had to learn that in some less-than-pleasant moments; stubbornly, I might add.
I dished on one of those moments in a recent story-time video over on my channel. I totally understand if you watch it and laugh at my 16-year-old choices; looking back, I made some less than smart choices. That ‘no’ that I got, showed me how crucial it was to really appreciate and accept myself. But more than that, it showed me that it’s better to say ‘yes’ to people that already said ‘yes’ to me.
What exactly does it mean to ‘go where you’re celebrated’?
Okay, maybe it’s not literally surrounding yourself with a bunch of yes-men, people to hold an umbrella over you if it’s raining or treat you as if you’re the best thing since pepperoni pizza. That’d not only be silly but unrealistic.
True Squad Goals
Going where you’re celebrated vs tolerated, the way I think of it, is about finding and appreciating the people that genuinely value, appreciate and respect you. Y’know, true #squadgoals. The people you naturally mesh with. This saves us from things like:
- Second guessing ourselves
- Trying too hard
- Sacrificing our dignity to be accepted (by doing things you’d normally not do)
- Regret, overall
I’ve been there way too many times. Yeah, the ‘going where you’re celebrated’ thing was a lesson learnt over and over again until it started to truly sink. Stubborn gal, I know.Going where you're celebrated: finding & appreciating the people that genuinely value you. Click To Tweet
If you ever find yourself around people that make you second-guess yourself and your worth to them, turn off at the nearest exit and head to where you will be celebrated!
So, Umm, How Do I Get There?
- Follow what fuels you – Fueling meaning the things that you’re effortlessly good at, the things that bring you endless joy. Whatever that ‘thing’ is that you’ve got a knack for, do it well and be proud of it.
- Socialise – To my fellow introverts out there, don’t worry; you don’t have to go to every party this month. Yes, a Netflix binge by yourself next week is totally fine. It’s okay if you aren’t naturally a social butterfly (It’s also totally fine if you are!). It’s important though, to connect with people. To go to new places and try new things. It can be something as small as a new neighbour’s housewarming, or a community sporting event (even if you’re just watching from the stands). Sometimes, past rejection can make you really hesitant about getting out there and meeting new people, but you’ve got to give it a go. It’s also worth your while to seek out events and opportunities related to the things you enjoy doing, your hobbies and talents. Trust me, they’re out there, if you do a little internet digging for activities and events near you. Google is your friend!
- Be eager – Alright, you’re dressed, you’re heading out. No expectations, other than to have a good time. If you’re at a laid-back event where there’s lots of banter and chatter, don’t fight it. Talk to people, truly listen, ask questions. Share ideas. Share doubts and fears too. My point, be open and interested in others. Within reason and in a safe way, of course.
- Build your tribe – So you’re socializing and you’re connecting with people. You’ll find that the more you share your ideas, thoughts and passions with people, the more you’ll find and draw to yourself other people that feel the same! Reach out and get to know them some more.
- Treasure your tribe – Since we’re in a bit of a sharing mood (with the storytime video and all), I’ll tell you something that many people don’t know about me. I used to be afraid of being ‘too’ appreciative. Hesitant about letting someone know that I was thankful for something they did, or that their presence made me happy. I thought that made me too vulnerable. Now, I can honestly say, being vocal with your gratitude towards friends or loved ones in general, can make a relationship or friendship 100x sweeter and stronger. You’ve formed bonds, you’ve made great friends you feel comfortable around. Whatever you do, make sure you let them know. Whether it’s a small gift, a hand-made ‘just to say thanks’ card, taking them out for a coffee, or a quote that reminded you of them via Whatsapp, those things count.
So there you have it, my loves; a guide to going where you’re celebrated, not merely tolerated (or worse, rejected!). Remember, finding ‘your people’, your tribe, is key to a genuine life that you genuinely love with people that truly get you. I hope you’ve found this helpful and inspiring, and share it with a friend who may be in a sticky place of low self-worth.
Until next time!