At first glance (or first click, rather) of my blog, you might question why so far I’ve been talking about mostly negative topics or issues.
Why, you ask? I felt that self-doubt would be a good follow-up topic to my first. It was, for me, one of the ill-effects of being bullied.
After my first secondary school ‘experience’ with a bully, I went into solution mode. I’m a solutions gal. Thinking
I was, I had to be, the problem in the first place, a remedy was the first thing on the to-do list. My logic was that something everything was wrong with me, so I went about changing everything I possibly could.
Let me explain:
I dropped the ‘me’ I’d always known and loved, like a hot ptoato, and picked up a new version that I felt would make me liked, or at the very least, not hated and not attacked.
It took me years to realise that I had grown to hate myself in almost a similar fashion to the mean girls at my high school.
A realisation that I’m proud of, actually. It’s only when you notice you’re going down a dead-end road that you can reverse and journey towards your original destination. I had to embrace that everything was alright, even while surrounded by people who thought everything was wrong with me.